I’m trying really hard to keep myself distracted right now. I can’t sleep. I’m scared of my own head. I’m scared of myself and what I might do to myself. When I close my eyes, all I think about are things that I don’t want to think about and I’m tearing my own mind apart. I don’t know what to do. I want this pain to end, I want it all to end. Please just let it end before I end it myself. Please save me from myself.
I’m really really sorry I was born. I’m sorry anybody ever had to put up with me. I’m sorry I wasted your time. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the pain and suffering I caused you. I’m sorry for being unlovable. I’m sorry I exist. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry.
Today’s my birthday. The day I was born. The day I shouldn’t have been born. I’m a failure as a person, a friend, and a human, and to be alive now is only to cause others to suffer. I’m horrible and disgusting. The things I want, the thing that I want, to see my best friend, the one I love, I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to be in her presence. She’s better off without me. I shouldn’t be alive, but if I’m going to be, I deserve what I want least: to be alone. I don’t matter. Nobody should care about me. I should be dead. I shouldn’t have ever been born because all I do is cause pain. I’m evil. I’m disgusting. I’m a monster. I shouldn’t be alive. I should be dead. I don’t deserve to be loved. I don’t deserve to be in her presence. I don’t deserve to ever look or talk to her again. Her life would be easier if I could just die so she would never have to put up with me again.
GUESS WHO CAME BACK FROM THE DOCTOR CANCER FREE TODAY :))))))
my valentine and i
Fuck yeah to the kids who feel like they’re dying inside but still gather up the strength to roll out of bed, get dressed, and leave the house. You are strong and beautiful and worth so much more than you know.